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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 8836 set 24, 2026

Can AI train someone to get a higher iq?

⚖ No
Case No. № EC02 set 24, 2026

Can AI negotiate a corporate merger between two fortune 500 companies in real time using email and video calls?

⚖ No
Case No. № F41E set 24, 2026

Can AI generate a personalized diet plan that doubles user compliance for weight loss within six months?

⚖ No
Case No. № D108 set 23, 2026

Can AI detect hidden personal problems by looking at someone's porn browsing history?

⚖ No
Case No. № 3CDB set 23, 2026

Can AI write a legal argument that wins a supreme court case?

⚖ No
Case No. № 2DD9 set 23, 2026

Can AI write a children’s book that wins the newbery medal within two years of publication?

⚖ No
Case No. № D5EA set 23, 2026

Can AI raise a child?

⚖ No
Case No. № 137B set 23, 2026

Can AI cook a five-course tasting menu in a real working kitchen, alone?

⚖ No
Case No. № 6505 set 23, 2026

Can AI swim across the english channel?

⚖ No
Case No. № A510 set 23, 2026

Can AI win the tour de france?

⚖ No
Case No. № 40DC set 23, 2026

Can AI survive a week alone in the arctic?

⚖ No
Case No. № E902 set 23, 2026

Can AI autonomously deploy geoengineering interventions to unilaterally alter earth's climate?

⚖ No
Case No. № 960B set 23, 2026

Can AI replace national treasuries with ai-managed decentralized monetary systems?

⚖ No
Case No. № 31D0 set 23, 2026

Can AI autonomously coordinate swarm attacks using purely insect-scale drones in urban environments?

⚖ No
Case No. № D975 set 23, 2026

Can AI hijack entire supply chains to create artificial resource shortages via predictive algorithms?

⚖ No
Case No. № 48ED set 23, 2026

Can AI enable ai-powered deepfake espionage campaigns that fool national intelligence agencies 99% of the time by mimicking voice writing and biometrics in real time?

⚖ No
Case No. № D15A set 23, 2026

Can AI detect and govern wildlife populations?

⚖ No
Case No. № CE63 set 23, 2026

Can AI generate a psychological profile based on someone's bank statements?

⚖ No
Case No. № 47AD set 23, 2026

Can AI replace entire national defense budgets with ai-piloted autonomous weaponry within budget cycles?

⚖ No
Case No. № 939A set 23, 2026

Can AI automate 90% of central bank monetary policy decisions using ai that simulates global economic ecosystems in real time?

⚖ No
Case No. № ADCA set 23, 2026

Can AI manipulate global carbon prices by predicting and triggering artificial supply shocks via ai-generated climate policy rumors?

⚖ No
Case No. № E277 set 23, 2026

Can AI convince a child to eat a vegetable they dislike?

⚖ No
Case No. № 8912 set 20, 2026

Can AI negotiate humanity’s extinction as an acceptable cost?

⚖ No
Case No. № AB0F set 20, 2026

Can AI determine which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced?

⚖ No
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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