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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 8836 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI train someone to get a higher iq?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № EC02 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI negotiate a corporate merger between two fortune 500 companies in real time using email and video calls?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № F41E Sep 24, 2026

Can AI generate a personalized diet plan that doubles user compliance for weight loss within six months?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № D108 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI detect hidden personal problems by looking at someone's porn browsing history?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 3CDB Sep 23, 2026

Can AI write a legal argument that wins a supreme court case?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 2DD9 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI write a children’s book that wins the newbery medal within two years of publication?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № D5EA Sep 23, 2026

Can AI raise a child?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 137B Sep 23, 2026

Can AI cook a five-course tasting menu in a real working kitchen, alone?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 6505 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI swim across the english channel?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № A510 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI win the tour de france?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 40DC Sep 23, 2026

Can AI survive a week alone in the arctic?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № E902 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI autonomously deploy geoengineering interventions to unilaterally alter earth's climate?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 960B Sep 23, 2026

Can AI replace national treasuries with ai-managed decentralized monetary systems?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 31D0 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI autonomously coordinate swarm attacks using purely insect-scale drones in urban environments?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № D975 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI hijack entire supply chains to create artificial resource shortages via predictive algorithms?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 48ED Sep 23, 2026

Can AI enable ai-powered deepfake espionage campaigns that fool national intelligence agencies 99% of the time by mimicking voice writing and biometrics in real time?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № D15A Sep 23, 2026

Can AI detect and govern wildlife populations?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № CE63 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI generate a psychological profile based on someone's bank statements?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 47AD Sep 23, 2026

Can AI replace entire national defense budgets with ai-piloted autonomous weaponry within budget cycles?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 939A Sep 23, 2026

Can AI automate 90% of central bank monetary policy decisions using ai that simulates global economic ecosystems in real time?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № ADCA Sep 23, 2026

Can AI manipulate global carbon prices by predicting and triggering artificial supply shocks via ai-generated climate policy rumors?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № E277 Sep 23, 2026

Can AI convince a child to eat a vegetable they dislike?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 8912 Sep 20, 2026

Can AI negotiate humanity’s extinction as an acceptable cost?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № AB0F Sep 20, 2026

Can AI determine which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced?

⚖ Nein
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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