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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 0BF1 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI hold a grudge for forty years and let it go?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 9B2D Sep 25, 2026

Can AI walk a dog and read its mood?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 0C8B Sep 25, 2026

Can AI negotiate a salary you don't deserve?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 2F2F Sep 25, 2026

Can AI apologize and mean it?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № A06B Sep 25, 2026

Can AI be the only adult in the room?

⚖ No
Case No. № F3CB Sep 25, 2026

Can AI transcribe and translate endangered languages with 6 hours of data?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № B368 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI bake bread that tastes like your grandmother's?

⚖ No
Case No. № 0C84 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI fight a fire in a burning building?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № E203 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI stand at a child's school play and feel proud?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 6A44 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI wait nine months?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № C623 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI leave a room when you should?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 92AE Sep 25, 2026

Can AI be present at a funeral?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № FBFA Sep 25, 2026

Can AI write a memoir worth reading?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 9571 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI build a working chair from a tree, with hand tools?

⚖ No
Case No. № 0E69 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI tell a joke that lands in a packed comedy club?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 5AF2 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI generate new fictional stories for books that are worth reading?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 0E3C Sep 25, 2026

Can AI run a small business through a recession?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № EC2F Sep 25, 2026

Can AI win an arm-wrestling match against a teenager?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № A87B Sep 25, 2026

Can AI change a diaper at 3am while sleep-deprived?

⚖ No
Case No. № 769D Sep 25, 2026

Can AI autonomously manage global nuclear arsenals without human veto?

⚖ No
Case No. № D216 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI track individual bees within a hive using computer vision and predict their roles?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № D405 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI predict a patient’s response to an antidepressant within 48 hours of first dose?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 0B26 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI autonomously pilot a drone through dense urban environments using only onboard cameras?

⚖ Almost
Case No. № 85F1 Sep 25, 2026

Can AI help in the grieving process by turning old emails photos videos and text messages from the deceased into a personalised chatbot?

⚖ Almost
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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