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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9EE5 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI design and deploy a fully autonomous drone swarm that can independently hunt and assassinate high-value human targets with 100% accuracy?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № B363 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI make all major financial decisions for a fortune 500 company including mergers acquisitions and divestitures without human veto?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 5EE2 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI control robots using plain language?

⚖ Fast
Case No. № 1038 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI forecast floods from satellite data?

⚖ Fast
Case No. № 8247 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI compose original symphonies?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № 4D35 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI generate persuasive political propaganda?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № 057B Sep 24, 2026

Can AI beat world champions at poker?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № C442 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI simulate human conversation deeply?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № CEF2 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI predict protein structures?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № BE8B Sep 24, 2026

Can AI read lips from silent video?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № E154 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI generate realistic human voices?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № BDED Sep 24, 2026

Can AI pilot fighter jets in combat tests?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 600B Sep 24, 2026

Can AI create photorealistic fake humans?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № 2474 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI detect fraud faster than banks?

⚖ Fast
Case No. № 0BC9 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI compose and publish a peer-reviewed scientific paper in nature with ai-generated hypotheses methods and results without human data or analysis?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 2C9B Sep 24, 2026

Can AI write and file a class-action lawsuit against a fortune 500 corporation using only generated case law and ai-authored complaints?

⚖ Ja
Case No. № 3DE6 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI create synthetic embryos from stem cells guided entirely by ai without human oversight?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 4CF8 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI predict and prevent civil unrest with 90% accuracy by analyzing satellite imagery social media and power grid data?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 2963 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI predict and trigger localized extreme weather events by manipulating atmospheric data feeds and ocean currents using autonomous geoengineering drones?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № D43C Sep 24, 2026

Can AI generate and execute a hostile takeover of a public company using only algorithmic trading and deepfake communications?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 8A55 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI predict an individual's likelihood of developing any genetic disease with 99% accuracy using only ai analysis of their microbiome and environmental exposure data?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 4493 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI autonomously rig a national election by manipulating social media microtargeting and suppressing voter turnout without detection?

⚖ Nein
Case No. № 4409 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI replace every human scientist in a top-tier lab with ai agents capable of designing and conducting breakthrough experiments in chemistry physics or medicine?

⚖ Fast
Case No. № 9C43 Sep 24, 2026

Can AI replace entire national treasury departments by autonomously managing currency issuance fiscal policy and public debt auctions with algorithmic stability mechanisms?

⚖ Nein
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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